Rinse and repeat?

So this blog seems to have suffered the same fate that my live journal postings had. I get caught up in doing things and just talking to people about it on other mediums that i neglect posting about anything for eons. That being said things for the most part have been the same. Unless i've just forgotten, the only major change is that my mother married Scott last year. That and my car has gotten partially crunched in an accident on campus. I'm also working an internship at DWSD (detroit water and sewerage department) which is pretty much a desk job. Besides that i haven't made any new real friends, i've turned 21 but i still drink as little as i did before, and now i like hookah but i always do it socially since sitting with the setup by myself would be entirely lame.

(guh the tab key doesn't work in this format)

As some more medical check-ups are on the rise i guess i will be put under the magnifying glass health wise but to be honest i really could care less as opposed to being concerned about my classes and work (need that money after all. Somehow my necro-phobia has resurfaced again. I used to throw fits about dying when i was younger as my mom likes to remind me from time to time and some days when i try to sleep that thought creeps into my mind. The only other time this happens strangely is when im driving home from work. Personally, i think it is because i feel a stronger sense of repetition in my life with just going through the grind of work and classes. My years as a middle schooler and sophomore in high-school were alot more active times for me with all the travel and organizations and developments at the time. Since then besides my parent's marital statuses changing on and off and my increased mobility due to driving, nothing big has really happened to me. So because of this, the only major markers that define points in time since then have been deaths. The death of my Previous step-father Corey, the Deterioration and death of my uncle Frankie, and the more recent death of my remaining grandfather (the other died when i was younger). In a time when the generation that for the most part raised me as a child is beginning to die and that i am soon to have to try to get out and make it on my own, not only is my character and ability being called into question but also my own sense of mortality.

I always scoffed when the old folks said "those damn kids think they're invincible". Now i understand what they meant.

but hey! i'll live.

for now

-Cesar